Valuing Difference and Disagreement in Teams

Most of us feel uncomfortable when we work in a team where disagreement abounds.   Many of us see conflict as akin to fighting.  So why is embracing disagreement a good thing for your team?

The fact is that everyone is different.  We all come at our work, or our volunteering, from our own starting place and view the world through our own lens influenced largely by upbringing, education, culture, age expectations, experiences, likes and dislikes and so on.  What is important when a team experiences disagreement is to keep in mind that robust discussion allows various perspectives to be tabled, that is, providing the “conversation” is handled well.

That’s where strong leadership comes in to play.  The leader’s role is to facilitate a process where perspectives can be expressed with everyone having adequate air time. When there are one or two powerful players in a team it’s easy for the quieter or less experienced team members to shrink into oblivion. That’s especially so if the conversation becomes heated and emotional.   Ideally the team leader encourages robust discussion, even disagreement in a structured, orderly and respectful way.  A strong team leader sets the rules of engagement.

By examining problems and decisions from differing perspectives, we are enjoying and embracing the range the diversity that is embedded in the individual and collective experiences of our team.   By examining a decision from many perspectives we reduce the likelihood of mistakes made from poorly considered decisions.

The trick is to deal with disagreement without becoming emotional.

When we are comfortable about disagreement we shine the light on varying perspectives  If disagreement, even argument is handled respectfully it can translate into new ways of thinking about a situation.

Visualise trying to make an important decision with your team when it doesn’t involve any disagreement or conflict.  New or different ways of looking at a problem will be disregarded in the pursuit of polite compliance and conformity; creative ideas and perspectives will be brushed aside and ignored, or never tabled at all. Consequently, and inevitably, the team will live with poor or badly constructed decisions.

On the other hand of course, where differing ideas translate as conflict you can expect to see team meetings laced with yelling, passive aggression, accusations and wounded egos.

Here are some ideas for beginning to use disagreement in a positive way:
Recognise that disagreement is a natural part of working in a team and decision making.  Teams thrive on diversity of ideas.  Get used to team members questioning what others say.  Expect and encourage team members to play devil’s advocate.  In fact, at times when everyone sits politely in agreement, appoint one or two members of your team to argue against a decision simply to ensure other perspectives are identified.

Put the emotion away and listen.
The fact that we don’t all see an issue from the same perspective is a good thing.  Confronting difference is not a personal attack; it’s an attempt to open up thinking. Set rules where everyone has a turn for uninterrupted speech.

When you see a conflict, label it.
The process of identifying and labelling can be a signal to all at a meeting that we are about to juggle and evaluate differences of opinion.  When we officially declare a “conflict of insights” at team meetings, that label can signify to everyone present that everyone in attendance that they are to be on their best, most mature and professional behaviour.  Labelling helps to avoid the slide from disagreement to outright agression. When disagreement, or “conflict of insights” is labelled, it’s at this point in a team meeting that the chair up-sizes their leadership role.  Set the rules of engagement to ensure everyone is allocated time to have a say, express their opinion, explain their perspective and have their ideas acknowledged and taken into consideration.

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but still hold hands.

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